Sickipedia

Liverpool, the city for ever in mourning, have announced that all sales of football shirts from now on, will have a permanent black arm band attached to them-to save time.

So Ellie Goldstein will be on Strictly Come Dancing. It's comforting to know that even Jimmy Savile in his heyday wouldn't have gone near her.

I see that Sharon Osborne backs a call to name an airport after her late husband, Ozzy. Imagine being on a plane, about to land and the Captain announcing, "Welcome to Wanker Airport"

At school, Miss Laneous was a mystery to me.

What does Strictly Come Dancing and the Salvation Army have in common? They both take in strays and waifs.

Just seen a tv advert for Jean Claude Gaultier perfume. Must be getting close to Christmas then.

Prince Harry meets his father...followed by a visit to King Charles. For details of their private talks, read Spare part 2, as edited by Meghan

Plane crashes just after take-off in India. The bad news is 169 of them were from India but the good news, that's 169 who will not be claiming asylum here.

Poor old Prince Harry and his bland wife, Megan. Prince Andrew has for now, taken all their hard earned limelight!

Andrew Mountbatten Windsor's advisors have found a loop hole to the Congress Committee's request for him to attend America for the Jeffrey Epstein inquest. Unfortunately for him, below the loop hole is a trapdoor!! Just saying.....