Sickipedia

Say what you like about Vladimir Putin but fair play to him for continuing to survive that terminal cancer that he was diagnosed with at the start of the war with Ukraine, two years ago!

Two Belarusians were walking in the Demänovská Valley in Slovakia's Low Tatras mountains, an area known for thick forest and steep ravines, when suddenly a bear appeared in the distance. The lady turned to her companion and cried 'We're never going to outrun that bear' Her companion, taking a pair of trainers out of his backpack replied 'I don't need to outrun the bear. I only need to outrun you!' The woman's body was discovered by a search dog shortly after her companion went for help. Nod to her companion

'Cordon set to remain around unexploded WWII bomb in Plymouth' Good. I hope the thing goes off and blows the fat cunt up. I never did like him!

Just been reading about the two young lads stabbed to death in Bristol and the report left me feeling sick to the stomach - Bristol Commander Supt Mark Runacres, who led the press conference is white and male! Forget the two lads for a minute, what kind of fucking world are we living in when a Police Commander Superintendent is now white AND male!!

Devastated to hear about the death of Bobby Ball. My thoughts are with his children, Rubber, Bouncy and Ping Pong

The following footage shows the plane going down behind some buildings. Some viewers may find the scenes distressing but sickipedians will find it fucking hilarious

I'm in the mood for a funeral

Emma Radacanu has been knocked out of the Australian Open. Shocking! I know she won't but I blame her coach!

Builder Peter Norgrove has pleaded guilty to murdering his client, Sharon Gordon, with a hammer following a row over an extension he was building at her home. The fucking bastard! I've lived next door to him for years and every time I've gone round there and asked to borrow a hammer, he's said he ain't got one!! Credit to the late, great Bernard Manning

Shane MacGowan strong contender for Christmas number one following his death on Thursday. You know what to do Cliff...you know what to do!