Sickipedia

The England Football Team - Good on paper! Totally shit on grass!!!!

Congratulations to the guy who's just swam the channel after having both legs amputated. He had no training for it as he was banned from all of his local swimming pools for bombing!

You can apparently now be a sperm donor by post. When I heard this I was so excited that I came in a jiffy!

The Paki next door said to me this morning 'I'm a better man than You' When I asked why he replied 'I haven't got a Paki living next door to me'

Congratulations to the brave guy whos swam the channel just three month's after having both legs amputated. It's remarkable that he has managed to complete the swim without any training whatsoever; as he was banned from all of his local swimming pools for bombing!

You can apparently now be a sperm donor by post. When I heard this I was so excited that I came in a jiffy!

A police officer pulled me up earlier and informed me that I had a flat tire! Luckily I remembered I had a foot pump in the boot... So I knocked the cunt out with it and drove off!!!

Carrie Symonds says she is having a Rainbow Child! Why the hell not! We've got every fucking colour under the sun here these days anyway!

I've just divorced my wife of 14 years! I believe that's quite old for a Filipino girl!

A teacher in school says to her class 'We are all descendants of Adam and Eve from The Bible'. A little boy puts his hand up and says ' but my parents told me we are descendants of monkeys and apes'... 'Fuck off Jermaine' said the teacher; 'I'm not talking about your lot'!!