Sickipedia

What breaks when you give it to a 3 year old? Her pelvis.

The poor kids at Sandy Hook Elementary... all they wanted was some books, but they got given magazines instead. *If you don't understand the joke, that's probably because it was aimed at a younger audience.

What's brown and goes "tttsssahhhhh aaagggghhhhhhh" whenever the phone rings? Harvey Price answering the iron.

I think we all need to be a bit nicer and more kind to each other on social media. Politeness goes a long way these days. Some of the hate and ignorance I have seen spewed online is just disgusting. The trolling and bullying is pushing people to the brink and it needs to stop. Nobody should have to endure that flack. Especially teenage boys, or people in violent relationships. The real victims of this online problem. Their abusers don't deserve to live. I am just sick of all this flack that people are getting in the media. It's absolutely disgusting and it needs to stop!

The best part about working night shifts is that it's easier to hook up with the girls and get pussy. There's less prying eyes around, for one, and the girls definitely seem easier at night when you'e working alone with them. You can talk to them and get close to them, especially during night shifts when it's quiet. Just last night, I fingered some chicks gash when the supervisor went on his break, then about an hour later I stuck my hard cock up another filthy slag's asshole. There's just something extra dirty and exciting about doing it in the workplace. But I make sure I'm discreet about it though, as I don't want either of us getting caught, or in trouble. So I have to make sure these bitches keep their fucking mouths shut. I've only been working here 3 months and I've met some right filthy slags at this place. Shaved fanny's and everything. I've probably had 5 or 6 different girls over the past month alone. It's like shooting fish in a barrel here. The girls are so easy. Anyway, I fucking love my job at Great Ormond Street hospital.

How do you pick up a Jewish woman in the street? With a dustpan and brush.

How do you get a Jewish woman's number? Roll up her sleeve... How do you pick up a Jewish woman in the street? With a dustpan and brush... What's the worst thing about dating a Jewish woman? She won't go near the oven... What's the best thing about dating a Jewish woman? She's not a Muslim woman.

I asked some little Chinese girl for her number yesterday at Gatwick airport. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Yes please, you dirty chinky slut!" "Dave, I think you'll find she said 666-3629", replied my wife.

What do black women and hockey goalies have in common? They both wear their pads for 3 periods.

I've just watched a documentary about that disgraced former Lost Prophet 'frontman' who molested kids and babies & had sex with animals. The vile fucking cunt! His name was Mohammed.