Sickipedia

I'll only date Catholic girls. Catholic girls must stay a virgin until marriage. There's a loophole to that church law, though. (hint: it rhymes with loophole)

Asked the dermatologist if it's possible to transplant hairy donkey skin onto a human's head? . . . . Ass skin for a friend

Is it still t oo soon to do 9/11 jokes? I was around in 2001 -- still can't recall anything like they describe happening in November. . . (HAH! That's a Retarded America joke, not a CIA| Conspiracy joke!) *mic drop*

classic British jokes: If you need a mechanic just follow a British car its probably going there. Q: Why do the British drink their beer room/cellar temperature ? A: Because Lucius Electrics also makes refrigeration equipment

A young man went up to his father and asked him, "Can I have twenty bucks for a blow job?" His father said, "I don't know. Are you any good?"

A Chinese bloke goes into a bar and addressed the black bartender, Hey, Nigger! Give me a jigger!" The bartender serves him then pulls him off to the side, "That racism hurt my feelings, you know?" "How so? It wasn't racist. It's just a funny rhyme." "How would you like it if it happened to you? Here, you switch places with me, and I'll show you." "Okay," said the Chinese fella, hopping over the bar as the Jamaica hopped out." The black bartender says to the Asian, "Hey, Chink! Gimme a drink!" The man from China immediately replies, "Fuck you! We don't serve niggers here!"

Wife asks her husband, "If I died tomorrow, how long would you wait before sleeping with another woman?" Husband said, "10 years." "Aww really, why?" she smiled. "She'll finally be 18 then," he answered.

I love being a school counselor. Any time student says his parents are getting a divorce, I respond, "What did you do?" Every time one of my students suicides, I get a week off with pay. I haven't worked in three years !

I get so excited every time I hear of another mass shooting, until I find out it has nothing to do with my childhood church.

Two proofs that Santa Claus is a true Mohammedan Muslim: 1. Never gives to Jewish children 2. Loves prepubescent children