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mrsbrownsboysisshit

Member since 4 years ago

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I took my 6-month-old son’s soiled nappy off this morning. Wouldn’t have been necessary if I’d taken those Imodium tablets.

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Keir Starmer should be kicked hard, right up the arse. Toed in the hole, you might say.

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Bankrupt Bradley Wiggins’s fat ex-wife has declared she’ll “Never turn my back on him”. Where the fuck’s he going to park his bike now?

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My surname is Goodyear and, in an astonishing twist of coincidence, I started dating a certain Ms Dunlop. We were due to get married but, sadly, at the last minute she let me down.

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Been grave diggin’ That’s grave diggin’ without a ‘g’

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All credit to Rebecca Welch. First, One Million Years BC, and now a Premier League referee. She’s officiating the Fulham-Burnley match. I’m going to put in a request that she’s topless. Phwooooaaarrrrrr!

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Haven’t you read the self-help book, “Eliminate the Stresses and Strains of Life” yet? No worries.

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Just wondering, does anyone know if Lewis Capaldi has finished his Glastonbury set yet?

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Beatles’ wive’s doll’s figures for sale: Linda £8 no offers Yoko £7 o.n.o.

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I sense that deep within me I have an attachment to my Dyson vacuum cleaner. It's a crevice nozzle, and it's being removed later today at A&E.

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