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I took my 6-month-old son’s soiled nappy off this morning. Wouldn’t have been necessary if I’d taken those Imodium tablets.
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Keir Starmer should be kicked hard, right up the arse. Toed in the hole, you might say.
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Bankrupt Bradley Wiggins’s fat ex-wife has declared she’ll “Never turn my back on him”. Where the fuck’s he going to park his bike now?
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My surname is Goodyear and, in an astonishing twist of coincidence, I started dating a certain Ms Dunlop. We were due to get married but, sadly, at the last minute she let me down.
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Been grave diggin’ That’s grave diggin’ without a ‘g’
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All credit to Rebecca Welch. First, One Million Years BC, and now a Premier League referee. She’s officiating the Fulham-Burnley match. I’m going to put in a request that she’s topless. Phwooooaaarrrrrr!
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Haven’t you read the self-help book, “Eliminate the Stresses and Strains of Life” yet? No worries.
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Just wondering, does anyone know if Lewis Capaldi has finished his Glastonbury set yet?
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Beatles’ wive’s doll’s figures for sale: Linda £8 no offers Yoko £7 o.n.o.
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I sense that deep within me I have an attachment to my Dyson vacuum cleaner. It's a crevice nozzle, and it's being removed later today at A&E.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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