Sickipedia

I wonder if we can shame people into not wearing trousers with cut knees in future by calling them 'blow-jobber pants'?

So, Madonna's 60. Do you suppose that in nine year's time anyone will fancy helping her act her age?

News: Seal slaps kayaker in face with octopus. "Hey, Kyle! Here's that sick squid I owe ya!"

It always puzzled me when I heard the Apollo astronauts reply to Mission Control in home counties English: "Roger that!" Why didn't they just say it American: "Fuck that!"

In an effort to appear more acceptable Boris has decided that he might go even further than a make-over hair cut and comb and is now considering a parting. Hopefully, the Tories and the rest of the country will consider one, too.

Got lots to do? Feeling tired? Just had a big Sunday lunch after the pub? ... There's a nap for that.

What the papers say: "Elton John defends Harry and Meghan over use of private jets" Another way of looking at it: Queen looks after the interests of the royal family.

I've just had a tattoo done of a magic lamp. Can you guess where it is?

So, Netanyahu lets slip that our PM is Boris Yeltsin. Moscow links to destabilize Europe? Funny how you never see Yeltsin and Johnson in the same room, isn't it. Just sayin'...

For Sale: Tardis. Slight leak. No time wasters.