Sickipedia

"Muslims forced to drink alcohol and eat pork in China’s ‘re-education’ camps, former inmate claims" Free beer and bacon butties?!?! Fuck, someone get me a koran and plane ticket to China!!

Why a white background? The last time someone's retinas burned this much they were in Nagasaki.

Harry and Meghan are moving to Africa. Good thinking Phil, exile the ginger bastard and the niglet to Africa. If he doesn't burn to death from the African sun you can always say they were eaten by Zulus. Much more believable than chased into a concrete wall by paparazzi.

It was a real tragedy what happened in Bradford yesterday morning, when four paki lads plowed their drug car into a tree. I'd like us all to come together and take a moment to mourn the tragic loss of the tree.

It's warm today but I didn't realise it was that warm, one of those wax dummies has a melted face. Oh nevermind, it's just Katie Piper!

People may wonder how a muslim man will know what his future wife will look like if they all wear burkas. But it's pretty easy, she looks just like the rest of the women in his family.

They say that Jews have the highest average IQ of the various peoples on Earth. Makes sense. All the dumb ones got caught and sent to Poland.

Why do they call it 'Black Ice'? Because it comes out of nowhere and steals your grip.

Early estimates are in from the Venezuela earthquake, authorities believe it has caused millions of dollars worth of improvements.

My nan always used to say when you have stuffy nose to suck on a fisherman's friend. Well let me tell you, I've been sucking off this Newfoundland for the past half hour and all its done is get me covered in slobber