Sickipedia

Will his official title now be The Nonce formerly known as Prince Andrew?

Bono is touring Ukraine on his " Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Worse" tour.

How do you get a champagne cork back into the bottle? I don't know but ask a Man City fan.

So Bruce Willis is going to retire from acting after being diagnosed with Aphasia. I thought he had lost his hair ages ago!

I really hope Jimmy Carr has learnt something from this gypsy holocaust controversy. Leave the sick jokes to us professionals!

I am very disappointed with Mason Greenwood. I always thought he was different from the others with his campaign for free school meals and criticism of the Tory government. It just goes to show they are all the same.

What do we want? Jobs delivering parcels for DPD When do we want it? Next Tuesday between 8.00 and 5.30

Well that will be more fuel for the Anti Tobacco Campaign. Heavy smoker Dot Cotton cut down in her prime at the age of 95!

Joe Biden " I need a plan to get Putin off every newspaper front page in the world" Will Smith " Hold my beer...."

So Bininam Girmay becomes the first black African to win a stage in a major cycle race. Apparently they told him there was a roast chicken waiting for him at the finish line. Once he had cut the lock of the bike there was no stopping him!