Sickipedia

I can't blame Messi...I'd be crying if Barcelona stopped paying me a million a week too!

I've decided to send Putin a book.... "An Expert's guide on how to invade a foreign country" Author - Tony Blair

From today's Guardian: "Wayne Rooney sleeping in Derby office to get Rams ready for season" Translation: Colleen's thrown him out.

Having passed the Fit and Proper Person's test, it is rumored that Satan is now looking to purchase a Premier League football club

Vladimir Putin has promised to end the war in Ukraine, if Europe promises to end the Eurovision Song Contest.

My sense of humour is so dark when it went to America it got shot by police !

Interviewer: Why did you leave your previous job? Me: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay in the building.

A UK journalist asked the a senior Taliban member what was the reason for their policy towards women, to which he replied: "We feel that our policy towards women was necessary after watching the UK's reality TV shows"

A British Airways pilot has been suspended over allegations he took cocaine just prior to his flight. Suspicion was initially raised when flight BA645 arrived at Perth just 45 minutes after takeoff from London.

Spitting Image is to release a new christmas single... 'I've never met a nice South African variant ' is expected to be released by next week.