Sickipedia

My mates down the pub think my Down Syndrome nephew Craig should have Three Entries in The Guinness Book Of Records. 1. Worlds Biggest Tongue 2. Most Decks Of Playing Cards Eaten In One minute. 3. Most Dart Flights Sniffed Up Both Nostrils Before Choking.

I was visiting my granny when my granda opened the front door and walked in. "Brrrr..freezing out there" "Yes I know..tell me something i don't know...hahaha" "Yer Granny likes it up the arse."....

I was reading about this Jewish blues guitar player. He remortgaged his soul to the devil.

I'm not saying I watch too much porn but my TV, Laptop and Tablet have windscreen wipers...

They say never look a gift horse in the mouth. Now I've got a horse with no fucking teeth.

My girlfriend has a mental disorder were she doesn't like her minge being touched. There's a name for it but I can't put my finger on it...

What's the quickest way to get an Ethiopian pregnant? Wank on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

My profoundly deaf girlfriend nagged me so much last night that I lost my temper and broke all her fingers. That shut her up...

I'm taking my new 65" 8K TV back to Curry's. Every advert on it has families of blacks enjoying themselves having barbecues with the daddy cooking and black men in loving relationships with white women with no black eyes or blacks giving advice to dumb white people or every in every fashion advert a group of white women always has a black friend.

After I caught my two young nephews smoking cigarettes in our garden shed I decided to teach them both a lesson. I got the biggest cigar I had, lit it up and made the two of them take it in turns to suck my cock. Nod to Dennis "Bill Hicks" Leary