Sickipedia

Can't believe a police woman told me I have to take down my Easter decorations as to not upset the Muslims that have recently moved in. I complained saying "You bend over backwards to appease those fuckers and let them get away with murder." The police woman said "I can't comment on that" with a smug look on her face. So I shouted "Allah Akbah" and raped her !

After sentencing today and hearing the damning evidence at what the Southport child killer perpetrated in its heinous acts towards innocent children. I fully understand why Robinsons withdrew him and his likeness from the branding on Jam and Marmalade products in 2001 .

Wouldn't it be ironic when Joni Mitchell dies and she gets to heaven. She is hugely disappointed to find out it's one big giant car park ?

My favourite new sport is playing Necrophilia Roulette. The rules are simple, you visit an intensive care unit and switch off the life support machine of a patient. Then have sex with them and see if you can finish before they flat line.

Lucy Bronze played the whole Euro's with a fractured tibia. That is amazing and reminds me of that time I went to work with man flu !

In honour of Val Kilmer's demise, I decided to have a pokey-bum wank using a Batman toy. Unfortunately the head broke off just as I was getting to the vinegar strokes. Now I've got to search for the hero inside myself

Question What is the most embarrassing vegetable you can get caught eating in public ? Answer Rosie Jones

If you had a choice of shooting Kier Starmer Or beating Sadiq Khan to death with a hammer. What type of hammer are you using ?

Nothing screams Im a strong independent woman more than Climbing aboard a giant penis shaped spaced rocket owned by a man. Then claiming you faked it !

Question What has an 85 year old and a serial killer got in common? Answer Everyone they've ever had sex with is either dead or soon will be.