Sickipedia

Australian chef Bill Granger is toast.

100 homes were evacuated in Manchester after being hit by a Tornado. There's no news on the pilot.

Rosie Jones was on this year's Big Fat Quiz of the Year. Jimmy Carr gave her a point for every spoken answer she gave because he couldn't understand a fucking word she said. It was also the first time the 2-hour show took 4 hours.

Tom Wilkinson has died and he'll be buried with his hat on.

Well, it's Christmas and New Year and our dustbinmen are actually nice.

A 16-year-old boy was stabbed to death on New Year's Eve in London. A black man who was seen running away from his family, must've momentarily stopped in Primrose Hill to keep his hand in.

NASA's $1bn Jupiter probe has sent back new photos of the giant planet and its great red spot. It seems India got there first.

I'm not saying he's short but that darts player, Luke, is Littler the closer you get.

There has been havoc for travellers because of flooding. They haven't been able to walk their lurchers, whip their horses, sell speakers and carpet cut-offs from their vans, or steal from pensioners while pretending to secure chimneys with a trowel and no cement.

Breaking news: A married couple found dead at a home in Scotland named by police. I asked my local cops if they offered this service but they said it should be my personal choice.