Sickipedia

After discovering a steaming pile of turd in our bedsheets myself and the wife have finally settled on naming our new Labrador puppy 'Amber.'

There's an unbelievable amount of dirt on Shane Warne right now.

It's a shame His Royal Highness Prince Philip isn't still with us for the absolute comedy gold statements he'd inevitably put out about his wife's sudden illness. "We are still attempting to sniff out the correct garden boy in employment at the Palace who is responsible for spreading disease!"

Can't wait to see the Labour Party Christmas Pantomime this year with Harvey Price reprising the main role as Diane Abbott.

My Grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

Elton John reported to have donated his prized original grand piano at auction that sold for $3,000,000. No fee and no takers interested in the accompanying stool however.

Apparently Bob Vylan wants his career back, wants his career back!

Our thoughts and prayers go out to those loved ones of recently deceased politician Alex Salmond, and wish all the luck in the world in finding a tin big enough to store him in.

Renowned "WAG" Colleen Rooney is said to be taking part in this years new series of "I'm A Celeb." And we all know what that means...... Lock up your Nannas and your elderly Aunties - Wayne has the house to himself for a fortnight!

Yesterday the whole world discovered Islamic terror group Hezbollah use outdated pagers to remain in contact with each other. Let's hope some fucker doesn't recommend AOL dialup broadband or we're all fucked.