Sickipedia

Apparently Bob Vylan wants his career back, wants his career back!

Our thoughts and prayers go out to those loved ones of recently deceased politician Alex Salmond, and wish all the luck in the world in finding a tin big enough to store him in.

Renowned "WAG" Colleen Rooney is said to be taking part in this years new series of "I'm A Celeb." And we all know what that means...... Lock up your Nannas and your elderly Aunties - Wayne has the house to himself for a fortnight!

Yesterday the whole world discovered Islamic terror group Hezbollah use outdated pagers to remain in contact with each other. Let's hope some fucker doesn't recommend AOL dialup broadband or we're all fucked.

Business appears to be booming in the Middle East, the prophets are flying through the roof!

Katie Price is considering becoming an escort to help make ends meet with her current financial struggles. Which is funny because she's already had more men inside her than my old mark 4!

Tragic news as James Earl Jones was rumoured to have been victim of a hit and run incident. The Empire Strikes A Black? (Already got my jacket on...)

James Earl Jones AKA the "Voice Of CNN" has sadly died, somehow out-lasting the painful death of CNN by approximately two decades.

I'm not saying that my missus is a massive slag per se, but her box has seen more explosions than a Hamas training DVD.

So the glove didn't fit, but in the ground you'll now sit.