Sickipedia

You know what I've had enough women don't want to have sex with me men don't want to sex with me hell even the trannys don't want me, so now I've sent off my job application form off to Pets at home!

teenager shot in the leg in Londonderry Currynieran Understandable of course if he was refused his Lamb Rogan Josh and went ape-shit

Little 10 year old Max is desperate for some apple juice, but can't seem to find some anywhere. Eventually he come's across something bearing the same colour of apple juice and takes a swig of it It was at this moment Max's mother had returned home to collect her forgotten sample for the doctors...

After my recent debt issues I've become so proud of my little son for kindly persuading the local shopkeepers to give him stuff for free. I always knew watching This Is England would benefit him.

Today I found out the local butchers wife works a side job as a prostitute. People just love her beef curtains...

I was sat in awe watching the Pampers advert with the wife and our newborn, when Suddenly the wife starts declaring how beneficial this could be to us. I say "what to our little Dylan?" "No it's for when you decide you want more than just a nightcap and end up falling into a comatose like state on our brand new corner sofa"

So one day my son came up to me saying he had joined the EDL. "U fucking what!" I yelled. "No dad it stands for Extravagant Dick Lovers". Still killed the fucker though...

I remember once coming out of Asda with my mate Dave, and him saying something. Dave: "So you take this bag and I'll take this one." These words confused me for a while, then I saw Wasps wife with her friend.

If I have one cigarrete in one hand and Wasps son in the other, what do I have? 2 fags....

In Winchcombe Family of 3 find supposed meteor strike in their front garden. That wasn't a meteor mark, Wasp took his wife skydiving....