Sickipedia

How can you tell if your best mate has turned gay? His cock starts tasting of shit.

My son just came out of the closet. I wish he would just do it into a sock like a normal person.

So, my uncle was sucking me of with a finger up my arse as I got high on crack whilst completing Sonic the Hedgehog this morning when I suddenly realised, shit, this is wrong on so many levels.

I'm not saying that my mother-in-law has a wrinkly face, but she has been asked to carry an Organ Donor card stating that it can be used in ball-bag reconstructions in the event of her untimely death.

I've just started a new band, we're much better than anything that Robert Smith ever did. We are called The Prevention

Meghan Markle isn't even black! Anyone would look black stood next to that pasty prat Prince Harry. Stand her up next to Harambe, she'd just look like another fucking Kate Middleton.

Have you heard the one about the man who pokes holes in cheese using his knob? He must be fucking emmental.

When I die I want my remains scattered across Disneyland. I don't want to be cremated though.

I love my new job at the circumcision clinic. The pay is good plus I get to keep all the tips. I just hope I don't get the sack.

So I was fingering this 12 year old boy with down's syndrome whilst smoking crack and having a shit in the lift on my way up to work this morning when I suddenly realised, this is wrong on so many levels.