Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection.
"What's that, Mummy?" asks the child.
"Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on.
A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?"
"That, son, is the elephant's penis."
"Mummy said it was nothing."
"Your mother's spoilt, Son!"
An Essex girl and John are playing a game of hide and seek.
John counts to ten while the Essex girl hides.
After about thirty seconds, John gets a text from the Essex girl saying:
“If you find me, you can lick my pussy and fuck me up the arse.
If you can’t,
I’m in the shed.”
Why did the UAE just cancel all the scholarships to UK universities?
Because they heard the Muslim Brotherhood was offering a better exchange program — free radicalisation with every lecture, and you still get to keep your passport!
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