Sickipedia

Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection. "What's that, Mummy?" asks the child. "Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on. A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?" "That, son, is the elephant's penis." "Mummy said it was nothing." "Your mother's spoilt, Son!"

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"

An Essex girl and John are playing a game of hide and seek. John counts to ten while the Essex girl hides. After about thirty seconds, John gets a text from the Essex girl saying: “If you find me, you can lick my pussy and fuck me up the arse. If you can’t, I’m in the shed.”

PARKOUR

Why did the UAE just cancel all the scholarships to UK universities? Because they heard the Muslim Brotherhood was offering a better exchange program — free radicalisation with every lecture, and you still get to keep your passport!

What's the difference between diarrhoea and a turd? You can't gargle with a turd.

GALILEO : Great mind! EINSTEIN : Genius mind! NEWTON : Extraordinary mind! BILL GATES : Brilliant mind! ME : Master mind! YOU????never mind

Just heard that the longest river in french has dried up significantly. So now all the froggies should fill some buckets of water up from their taps and go fill the river back up. With clever thinking like that, they can all beat this dry spell.

I have a group of friends who like to molest, kidnap, abuse, rape and kill children, They advised me to check out www.Sickpaedia.com I made a spelling mistake and ended up here, I cant believe what a sick bunch of cunts you all are!

I got into an argument with this thug in the pub. Anyway, I backed away, but as I was leaving he shouted, "I know where you live." I was really worried for a while, but it turned out he works for Royal Mail Parcelforce, so his threat almost certainly isn't true.