Sickipedia

A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks today- it was so scary.. thankfully someone opened another register..

Thanks for fuck all autocorrect.. I'm never gonna get a woman being a "homeless romantic".

can't stand people who blame everyone else for their problems......... I'd be successful and happy by now if it wasn't for them.

TOP TIP: If you ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne, my advice, hit it with a ship..I've seen people do that, it works!

I've finally come to accept I'm dyslexic and I'll always be dyslexic... A Leotard can't change its spots..

So my friend is mad at me because I slept with his ex. his instructions were very clear when they broke up, he said "Fuck that bitch!"

Breaking Bad should have ended with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class....

As a kid, Arnold Schwarzenegger never got to celebrate Easter the way other kids did. After he was married, his new wife, having been told that fact by him, was surprised that he still liked that holiday. When she asked, he replied, "I still love Eastah, baby."

I just blocked someone on Facebook for correcting my grammar and it feelded great!

"So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" The start of a John Lennon song, or the wife about to start a fucking argument?