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john1311

Member since 3 years ago

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john1311

3 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 8

"So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" The start of a John Lennon song, or the wife about to start a fucking argument?

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john1311

3 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : -4

I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days..

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john1311

3 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 9

Breaking Bad should have ended with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class....

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john1311

3 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 9

So my friend is mad at me because I slept with his ex. his instructions were very clear when they broke up, he said "Fuck that bitch!"

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john1311

2 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : -2

My plan to entomb myself like a pharaoh in a pyramid stocked with everything I’ll need in the afterlife is in jeopardy because I keep drinking all the vodka..

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john1311

2 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 8

I just blocked someone on Facebook for correcting my grammar and it feelded great!

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john1311

2 years ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : -1

Most of being an adult is whispering “fuck this shit ” while doing it anyway..

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john1311

2 years ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : -3

Knock knock." ..."Who's there?" " ..."Doorbell repair guy"

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john1311

2 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : -2

Do beavers even know what they're doing? Or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, "Absolutely not..

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john1311

2 years ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : -3

Hello? is it me you're looking for?" "Yes Lionel , it is you cunt, now I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave Sea World now because we've had reports that you've been dancing on the fucking sea lion. "

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