Sickipedia

You ever pee so hard it makes the toilet flush automatically? It makes you feel really powerful for a couple seconds

If opinions are like assholes, then conjectures are like heads, stuck up one’s own asshole

Hey little Zelly, I know the big bad gooch Vladdy has been picking on you and causing you tons of grief. How about this, you give me your lunch money everyday and I'll tell that bully to knock it off. Promise. Pinky swear. Do we have a deal?

I always said Haitians make the best hotdogs

What's brown, hard, 10 inches long, with a wet end after sucking on it? A black cock, you cigar haters

ProTip for any cashiers out there. When handing over change, first place the coins in my hand, and then the bills on top. I trust your math skills

Black girl sees a gynecologist for the first time Doc says, "So, what kind of flow do you have?" Girl says, "Linoleum"

Happy 4th everybody. And, on this special day just remember the most important thing. Never put ketchup on your hotdog

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

I went to the doctor the other day for a routine check up Doctor said to me, "Ya know, you really have to stop masturbating" I said, "Really doc? Why's that?" He replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"