Sickipedia

Boris Johnson will be forced to decide whether Dominic Raab or Liz Truss can lay claim to Chevening House after concluding that they cannot share the grace-and-favour residence. Well, they could share it so long as she doesn't tell her husband and he doesn't tell his wife.

Anyone who doubted America’s concern for Australian interests in the face of Chinese aggression will have been buoyed by the sight of President Joe Biden announcing an upgraded military alliance alongside Prime Minister Whatshisface.

The irony of Michael Gove becoming housing secretary is that, following his divorce, his first priority will be to find housing for himself.

The government has condemned Nicki Minaj after the rapper claimed that the Covid vaccine causes impotence. Love, if every man who has sex with you can’t get an erection, the vaccine isn’t the problem.

Six months on from the murder of Sarah Everard, women are still asking themselves, ‘when will be able to walk alone on the pavement at night and feel safe?’ 124 years on from the first woman being allowed to drive, men are still asking themselves the same question about the roads.

According to reports, Arsenal footballers Alexander Lacazette and Martin Odegaard had sexual intercourse at the club's facilities. Odegaard is now expected to be out of action for at least six months with a broken pelvis and HIV.

Arab media are reporting that Lacazette and Odegaard had sexual intercourse in the Arsenal facilities. That's the most penetration they've created all season.

According to reports, Joe Biden "will remember" comments about his mental acuity by senior figures in the UK and that he won’t even bother to make a brief visit here the next time he tours Africa.

According to reports, Joe Biden "will remember" comments about his mental acuity by senior figures in the UK and that he won’t even make a brief visit here the next time he tours Africa.

The Taliban will ban music in public, because the movement considers it un-Islamic, according to the group’s chief spokesman. Wouldn't put it past those bastards to close the pubs as well.