Sickipedia

So I was chatting to a single mum in a bar the other night, and I was getting the usual tirade about how her "baby daddy" was emotionally and physically abusive, never worked, was an alcoholic, spent all day smoking weed and playing PlayStation, didn't drive, never contributed a penny to the rent, grocery shopping or bills; and cheated on her. "Wow, all that, and you still decided to have two kids with him?"

If you pull a pin from a grenade, how do you put it back in? Quick answers please.

If your wife ever says she wants to go anywhere you don't want to, simply say, "Oh yeah, that's where the really hot blonde works". Problem solved.

Did you know that hamsters die when they have sex? Well the one I fucked did.

I drove past a gypsy wedding yesterday. I have to say, it was remarkably like the Royal Wedding. Everyone was inbred and the taxpayer is footing the bill.

What's the difference between a constipated owl and a bad archer? One shoots but can't hit....

Considering how I'll fuck basically anyone, I spend a remarkable amount of time searching for the best porn to wank over.

"Star trek, set in the future, is an idealised version of humanity, showing us what we could achieve as a species if we put aside our differences and worked together" Probably why there's no fucking Muslims in it.

I think my girlfriend might be a slut. I just saw her spit on a hotdog before eating it.

Seeing as we're taking back control of our own laws, including human rights, does that mean we can put pikeys in concentration camps?