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Recently bought a cheap Logitech controller to control my Titan submarine. Not usually into cutting corners, but it's working fine so fa.....
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What do Angela Rayner and a Tampax have in common? They are both stuck up cunts.
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Recently saw an advert on TV for NatWest. The whole call centre was full of blacks and asians. On a positive note, at least it shows that they are based in the UK and not abroad.
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BBC presenter involved in sexual photo scandal finally revealed. Huw'd thought it...!
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Named and shamed BBC presenter shits on wife and family over 3 years in secret. Gets found out. His excuse is ooh, it's my mental health, best get to hospital. Huw convenient...
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Just opened a pack of Jelly Babies for my kids. Dipped my hand in the bag to have some and one of the black fuckers nicked my watch!
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I have a fetish lately for getting my mower out and cutting the grass. Now I can't help noticing how sexy some of the neighbours front gardens are. I'm going to start a website called LawnHub... Fuck off, I'll get my lawn mower...
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Just watched the latest Virgin Galactic launch on TV. I noticed two monkeys on the mission to space. Surprised the media didn't pick up on that if I'm honest.
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Just watching some NFL live on TV out of curiosity. It's wank. They seem to stop every 2 seconds. NFL must stand for Not Fucking Long, as in the amount of time they actually spend doing anything...
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British man has eye stabbed in Paris terror attack. No idea how deep the blade went. I imagine he got an Eiffel at least...
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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