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03.00hrs GMT Russia invades Ukraine 03.01hrs GMT France surrenders
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Got chatting to a real stunner of a girl in the pub. We discussed the Ukraine situation and what Putin might do if Europe intervened. I said he would probably nuke us and we'd only have 20 minutes warning. She asked me what I would do if that happened. I answered, "Shag the arse off of anything that moved. What about you?" She replied, "Stand very, very, still"
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Why don't we use illegal immigrants to fill in all the potholes in our roads. After all, they're roughly the same colour as tarmac.
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A great British tradition
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News: Superdrug launching gender-neutral sanitary pads for, "a person who menstruates" Durex are launching their gender-neutral condoms for, "a person who spunks out of their cock"
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BREAKING NEWS: Another 3rd world shithole country has been infected by the deadly Omicron coronavirus variant. Nicola Sturgeon has reported 6 new cases in Scotland
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WOW! What a surprise Scotland. A move to make trans gender easier from a country where the national costume for men is already a skirt.
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BREAKING NEWS: "15 year old boy raped by two 18-20 year old girls in woods" If anyone wants me for the next 2 weeks, I'll be camping in those woods.
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Both King Charles and Prince William have stated that Prince Harry's boast that he has killed 25 Taliban is wrong. They went on to say that they hoped that his bragging would not elicit any retaliation from the Taliban at any of Price Harry's public appearances at... Saturday 13.00hrs. NBC Studios, Burbank 17.00hrs. Counterpoint Books, Los Angeles Sunday 14.00hrs. California Polo Club, Los Angeles 20.00hrs. Beverly Hills Hotel
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