Sickipedia

One of the Monty Python team has invented an unmanned aircraft that does sky-writing that’s spelled the same backwards as forwards. It’s a Palin drone.

I visited my local Chinese restaurant last night and asked for the specials. They gave me too much foo young.

The 2 biggest regrets of my life: 1. The amount of times I fucked up. 2. Naming my dog 'up'

I like my women how I like my bacon. Hot, with the fat cut off and wrapped around my sausage.

A policeman caught a man behind a hedge, masturbating in to a five-pound note. "And, what's your game, then?" he boomed. "I've just come in to money", replied the man.

Gavin and Stacey is back, David Beckham scored for Manchester Untied, the Spice Girls are touring, as are Westlife, meanwhile Aladdin is number one at the cinema. Can someone remind me what year it is?

Police Officer : Michael there is somebody dead in your pool Michael Barrymore : Bummer Police Officer : Yes that's him

R. Kelly had the chance to become a professional Ice hockey player. He failed in his attempt as he was only interested in scoring before the end of the first period.

Diane Abbot has complained that nothing is made in the UK anymore. The Labour politician stated "I just bought a TV and it said "Built in Antenna", I don't even know where that is!

I went to the doctor and I said "I think I have Swine Flu", he said "it's okay, you have Gammon Flu and you're cured".