Sickipedia

Single woman with hand sanitizer would like to meet a single man with toilet rolls for good clean fun.

Let's take a moment to think of Philip Schofield. The poor bugger only just came out and now he's being told he's got to stay in.

A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese. It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.

Taylor Swift has 500 songs about blokes leaving her and 0 songs about blowjobs. See where I'm going with this?

I visited my local Chinese restaurant last night and asked for the specials. They gave me too much foo young.

I like my women how I like my bacon. Hot, with the fat cut off and wrapped around my sausage.

I was having a pint in the Bricklayer's Arms last night when I thought to myself " I'd better let him get on and finish this wall".

Gavin and Stacey is back, David Beckham scored for Manchester Untied, the Spice Girls are touring, as are Westlife, meanwhile Aladdin is number one at the cinema. Can someone remind me what year it is?

"Boris Johnson speech: PM warns Britain facing six MONTHS of stricter lockdown ruining Christmas for millions of families" Obviously the headline writer at The Sun has never experienced a "family Christmas".

Police Officer : Michael there is somebody dead in your pool Michael Barrymore : Bummer Police Officer : Yes that's him