Sickipedia

Who would have thought as soon as the site turned from black to white, it’d not be worth a fuck?

What do the Grocery baggers and a hand job have in common? You appreciate the effort but you could do it better

I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, and a dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

If you were to blow up Mecca, would Muslims spin around like a broken compass?

Apparently Imam stands for I married a minor...

A friend saw some black kids spraypainting their names on a wall and decided to join in. He'd only done the first four letters of his name when they started beating the crap out of him. They obviously don't like people named Nigel...

Living in America is great. I went to the doctor and was seen right away. I had with a shooting pain in my left arm... He examined me right away and said “You've been shot in the left arm." I guess that’s the bad part of living in America.

There's one thing I've never been able to understand about asteroids... How exactly do they enhance your performance?

Making love to a beautiful woman is just like playing the piano. I don’t have a clue how to do either.

Fuck! I've been diagnosed with a disease that keeps transforming me into capital cities.... It's really starting to Hanoi me now.