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Sad to hear that Patricia Routledge has kicked the bouquet
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The amount of people I’ve asked . “What’s the name of that cricket umpire that’s just died?” Yeah…Not a Dickie Bird back.
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I went on pornhub for a wank today and ended up spunking on my driving licence.
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Christian Horner: From P1 to P45
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Diogo Hotter
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Those announcements in train stations are bullshit “If you see something that doesn’t look right, see it, say it, sort it”. Well when I showed them this lump on my bollocks all they did was physically remove me from the station with my pants round my ankles.
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Just flicked the news on and got a stark reminder of my shit dinner last night. I also had a burnt Indian dropped on my doorstep.
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My mum just said to me, “I didn’t know Hale and Pace owned Burnley Football Club.”
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Carl Dean, Carl Dean, Carl Dean, Carrrrll Deeeaaannnnn. I’m begging God please don’t take my man. God: Mine.
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“Little Stephen couldn’t wait for Santa to finally come” “…but little Stephen was 11 and that was considered a little too old for uncle Harry”
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Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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