Sickipedia

Rebecca Adlington Was once likened to the reflection on the back of a spoon… Nowadays, she's more like the hook on a coathanger.

Gaza Muslims to be offered a place in Scotland? They won't fit in. They don't drink alcohol. They won't like the weather. They don't shag... sheep…

I'm torn between Russia and Ukraine but I still support Ukraine. I'm torn between Israel and Palestine. But I still support Israel… Joking, I want everyone dead.

My money is on Mr Tumble and Nikki Fox in the Tardis with the double-ended dildo.

Three horses dead. Animal rights activists call for an end to horse racing. Where will we get the meat for Findus Crispy Pancakes?

Charlie, never worked a day in his life, in his gold chariot: “Scum, remember climate change. You plebs must use public transport to grind for a pittance”.

If you can decide what you are. Then I am everything. I'm all genders, sexes, nationalities, ethnicities, sexualities, species and not. I'm everything. I'm an asexual black woman, a bisexual Chinese man, a gay transgender chimpanzee and not. I'm everything. I'm The Multiverse, a particle, every type of organism and not. I'm everything because I decided I am. That's right, I'm a CUNT... And not.

Sunak a Paki is in charge of The UK. Now Yousaf, a Paki is in charge of Scotland. He doesn't need to teach us anything... Here in Sweaty Sock Land, We’ve been eating curry for breakfast before they got here.

If you forgot the clocks went forward today. Don't worry... They haven't gone forward in The Middle East for a few millennia.

£480 million?... That would buy two AC-130s to patrol the English Channel.