Sickipedia

Leaked documents have revealed what will happen when the Queen dies. Let me guess .... I'll laugh and celebrate I'll then go straight to Sickipedia Sickipedia will already have crashed TV will be nothing but shite for 2 weeks

New changes in the law will allow standing at football matches again. I've forgotten why it was banned in the first place. Nobody ever seems to talk about it.

A minutes silence please everyone Today is the 19th anniversary of 9/11.

An international manhunt is underway to locate a man who fled Australia after pouring boiling coffee on a baby. Police have released CCTV footage on YouTube and I was shocked to see it was totally unfiltered.

Calls have grown for Emma Raducanu to be made an MBE, OBE or even a Dame following her win at the US Open. It is not yet known if the Queen will grant an honour to the teenager, but Prince Andrew has stated he would love to give her one.

Just watched the highlights of 16 year old Team GB gymnasts Jessica and Jennifer Gadirova performing at the Olympics. It's amazing the things you discover when searching for "flexible teenage twins" on the internet.

A man from Dartford has been jailed for 4 years after he beat his partner with a frying pan, leaving her in a coma. If only he'd used a Teflon pan. Then the charges wouldn't have stuck.

I was going to post a joke about some random guy that lives a few streets away from me, until I realised you sort of have to know him to get the joke, so it would be meaningless to everybody else and therefore there would be no point in me posting it. Then I remembered all the Gary Haggerty memes.

"Richmond school teacher Dave Clark trampled to death by a herd of cows" Remains of his body were found in Bits and Pieces

Just had my first ever threesome with 2 pretty 21 year old girls This new job at the Welsh Coroner's Office is fucking awesome.