Sickipedia

So is it meant to be called 'Brilliant White', or was the bloke just chuffed he invented it?

I took my final university exam to become a politician last week, but it was quite hard and I couldn't answer a single question. I passed with a distinction.

*Credit to owner* I got home last night and said to the Mrs; "I can't believe it, I've just seen the Crystal Palace team playing football with a hedgehog". "Sick bastards", she replied. "It's ok", I said, "the hedgehog was 4-0 up".

Call of Duty release bonus level download. Get a 59 kill streak to open the Vegas map.

What do you call a robot that wears shit clothes? Optimus Primark.

Man - 'Octogon, giraffe, pylon, testicles' Woman - 'Have you eaten too many randoms again?' Man - 'No Alanis, I think that's what we should call our next child'

My doctor has just given me 90 minutes to live. So I've just started watching a women's world cup game, at least that will make it feel like 6 months.

I was sick and tired of being beaten at playing snap by my 3 year old son, so I decided to try and win at something easier. So I signed for Celtic and won the treble.

I just brought a rubber stamp. Now I just need to decide where to send my rubber.

I invented a saying about yoghurts the other day. Well, it was more of a fromage phrase.