Sickipedia

Electric wheelchairs. For people that can't be arsed to make use of their working limbs.

Some fucking awful music, followed by fatal retribution in Manchester on Monday night. Oisis have claimed responsibility.

'Please officer, don't shoot me, this isn't a real suicide vest' *BANG* 'Looks like it works to me, cunt'

ISIS have declared a holy war on its western enemy 'Fire', after it was found to be more efficient than its own terrorists in London.

You'll never realise exactly how much of a cunt your mother-in-law is until you win a game of 'last clap' at her funeral.

With 58 scum of the earth, leeching parasites and possibly more dead in Grenfell tower, I propose that this should be called 'The greater fire of London'.

The Mystery Machine. It's a van. Mystery solved.

I decided to take a helicopter trip whilst on holiday in Miami. When in the air I asked the pilot- 'Can you take me to that place around here that's named after a shape, where airplanes disappear without a trace?' The pilot replied 'Ahh, you mean the Bermuda triangle?'. I said 'No, the Pentagon'.

It doesn't surprise me that Serena Williams is so good at tennis. She must have got really strong arms when she used to swat bi-planes away from the Empire State building.

Old MacDonald had OCD, E E I I O.