Sickipedia

Wish my Girl friend went down as often as this fucking site!

A big thank you to Leicester City for their early Guy Fawkes bonfire display

Queen Elizabeth has expressed her delight at Great Britain's forthcoming re-entry into the Slave trade in Spring 2019

A group of guys,all turning 40,discussed where they should meet for Lunch. Finally it was agreed they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini shirts Ten years later at age 50 the friends once again discussed where they should meet for Lunch Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive the food and service was good and the Beer selection was excellent Ten years leter at age 60 the friends again discussed where they should meet for Lunch. Finally it was agreed they would meet in Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parkingthey could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music and it was good value for money Ten years later at age 70 the friends discussed where they should meet for Lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled Ten years later at age 80 the friends discussed where they should meet for Lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet in Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before

A friend of mine just started a business in Afghanistan selling land mines that look like prayer mats He says prophets are going through the roof!

I saw a job advertised as a fanny waxers assistant. Job includes removing ladies knickers, prepare fanny for waxing and rub in oil after waxing When I asked at the Job Centre they said I had to go to Cornwall - I asked why, is that where the job is? No, they said - that's where the back of the fucking queue is!

3 minutes silence for the victims of the Grenfell Towers disaster? Surely a Bonfire would have been more appropriate

TEACHER - "Billy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?" BILLY - "None, the others would fly away" TEACHER - "The answer is 4 but I like the way you think" BILLY - "I have a question for you Miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream cones. I licking, I biting and 1 sucking. Which one is married?" Teacher nervously answers "The one sucking" BILLY - "The answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think"

I used to be afraid of Chestnuts But I have Conkered my fear

Following years of intensive and exhaustive research Experts have finally come to a unanimous consensus on the cause of Princess Diana's death Prince Philip