Sickipedia

TEACHER - "Billy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?" BILLY - "None, the others would fly away" TEACHER - "The answer is 4 but I like the way you think" BILLY - "I have a question for you Miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream cones. I licking, I biting and 1 sucking. Which one is married?" Teacher nervously answers "The one sucking" BILLY - "The answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think"

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ There ya go Hannah - all the ingredients for writing your own fucking Joke!

Wish my Girl friend went down as often as this fucking site!

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board,but only 3 parachutes The first passenger said " I am Steph Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I cannot afford to die" So he took the 1st pack and left the plane The second passenger, Donald Trump, said, "I am the newly elected US President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die" He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My Son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute" The little boy said, "That's okay, your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag"

Girlfriend came home with £86.50 from a night of Prostitution. I asked her who gave 50p They all did she said

Triple 20 check out RIP Eric Bristow Legend

Don't know if this is a Scam but I just got a text saying I won £250 or two tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute night It said Press 1 for the money or 2 for the Show

I saw a job advertised as a fanny waxers assistant. Job includes removing ladies knickers, prepare fanny for waxing and rub in oil after waxing When I asked at the Job Centre they said I had to go to Cornwall - I asked why, is that where the job is? No, they said - that's where the back of the fucking queue is!

A guy walks into a crowded Bar, waving his unholstered Pistol and yells "I have a 45 calibre Colt 1911 with a seven round magazine and I want to know who's been sleeping with my Wife" A voice from the back of the Bar calls out "You need more Ammo"

Things could not get worse for Harvey Weinstock Miss Piggy has just announced he tried her up as well