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gary

Member since 8 years ago

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gary

2 years ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 4

I've just been arrested for stealing varifocals from Specsavers. I did not see that coming.

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : -1

I told a total stranger that her eyebrows were drawn on too high. She looked surprised.

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-1

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 33

The money is always a nice little bonus. But the real joy in robbing the Post Office is watching the fucking staff move quickly for once.

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 22

I had a wonderful evening with my wife tonight at the cinema. She stayed quiet for over 2 hours.

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 0

I had a wonderful evening with my wife tonight at the cinema. She stayed quiet for over 2 hours.

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 38

More often than not, a massage will turn into sex. Which is why I'm no longer the physio at Doncaster Rovers.

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 4

My workmates and I got so pissed we had a pole dancing competition. Our fire chief wasn't happy.

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 7

What has McDonalds and a red light got in common? My wife always drives through them.

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 9

Thought I was onto a winner last night in a karaoke competition. Turns out the theme tune to match of the day isn't as popular as I thought.

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gary

4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 21

I just noticed on the Bookie's window: Open Sunday 11-2. I'll have a tenner on that. He was open last Sunday.

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