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I've just been arrested for stealing varifocals from Specsavers. I did not see that coming.
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I told a total stranger that her eyebrows were drawn on too high. She looked surprised.
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The money is always a nice little bonus. But the real joy in robbing the Post Office is watching the fucking staff move quickly for once.
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I had a wonderful evening with my wife tonight at the cinema. She stayed quiet for over 2 hours.
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I had a wonderful evening with my wife tonight at the cinema. She stayed quiet for over 2 hours.
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More often than not, a massage will turn into sex. Which is why I'm no longer the physio at Doncaster Rovers.
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My workmates and I got so pissed we had a pole dancing competition. Our fire chief wasn't happy.
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What has McDonalds and a red light got in common? My wife always drives through them.
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Thought I was onto a winner last night in a karaoke competition. Turns out the theme tune to match of the day isn't as popular as I thought.
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I just noticed on the Bookie's window: Open Sunday 11-2. I'll have a tenner on that. He was open last Sunday.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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