Sickipedia

Headline "BLM activist was shot in the garden by four black men, police say" I thought she was shot in the head

Tried a new Irish whiskey today. So smooth. Goes down like the Iranian president's helicopter

"Going house hunting up in the north east next week." "Newcastle?" "Nah, don't think the budget will stretch that far." Whoever fucking started this shit deserves a medal.

West Ham sign Alphonse Areola from PSG Let's hope he doesn't make a tit of himself

Mohammed had a little goat, Lived in the Khyber Pass, And everywhere Mohammed went, He was balls deep in its ass

I can't believe how sexist these covid rules are Crowds allowed back at men's football Crowds still banned from women's football

Summer is here, and it's time for the annual holiday in Portugal

For the first time ever, Mohammed was the number one name for baby boys in the UK The number one girls' name was "biological waste disposal only"

I saw a news headline this morning with a picture of a dinghy with the words 'sank' and 'bodies' beside it and got excited, but sadly it wasn't in the English channel

I went on a date last night. It was all going so well until she asked me if there was a specific type of car I absolutely loved. I guess sadly she must be the jealous type because she stormed out when I said Maxine