Sickipedia

Predicted GCSE maths question: If Muhammad has 10 apples and he gives 3 to Ali and 4 to Abdul, Then calculate radius of the blast.

What's the difference between menstrual blood and Sand ? You can't gargle sand.

My ' Suicide prevention day' celebration was an absolute success. I killed myself yesterday.

Don't expect your jokes to be voted up tonight............most members of this group will be huddled by the front door waiting for the doorbell to ring!

I'm making a fortune out of promoting home security systems. The pitch is easy. All I do is say "Hello". At 3 in the morning whilst sitting on the end of their bed.

A man is driving down a main road when he sees a blue light in the rear view mirror, and hears the police siren. He pulls over. The traffic cop comes up to his window and says, "Excuse me, sir, but are you aware that when you went round that roundabout back there, your wife fell out of the passenger door?" The man says, "Thank God for that! I thought I'd gone deaf!"

I see a lot of women are using this site... The dinner won't cook itself you know.

Some girl got her nipple pierced at the bar last night. I am not very good at darts.

Why can't i find sexy singles in my area after installing AdBlock?

The Bible read backwards: Jesus: God decides he wants a son, so he sends him to earth, cut, bruised and on a cross. Luckily for Jesus though, some kind and helpful Romans are around to help him get down, remove the thorn crown and clean up his cuts/bruises. Jesus was a bit of a bastard. Get this right, he walks up to this guy, nice and healthy and makes him blind. Goes up to some guy who can walk and cripples him. Some guys are having a lovely feast of fish and bread, plenty to share around the thousands that were there. Jesus, being the twat that he's become, replaces it with fuck all. Looking smug with himself, he develops a case of Anageria, which inevitably makes him smaller, and as he was on his death bead in some little manger, 3 guys come along and knick his presents! Moses: Now a man named Moses decides to gather up a load of kind Jews and was planning on taking them on a journey and reaches a deal with a Pharaoh and they become stuck in captivity. Adam and Eve: There was a lovely couple called Adam and Eve, and they were very sad, so God decided to allow them to play in his garden. Adam all of a sudden regurgitates an apple, followed by Eve. Clearly unwell, God got angry and started smashing things. One day, he took away life. The next day, he took away light. Then dark, then after 7 days God destroyed the universe. And that son, is how babies are made. *It was on the old site