Sickipedia

The Bible read backwards: Jesus: God decides he wants a son, so he sends him to earth, cut, bruised and on a cross. Luckily for Jesus though, some kind and helpful Romans are around to help him get down, remove the thorn crown and clean up his cuts/bruises. Jesus was a bit of a bastard. Get this right, he walks up to this guy, nice and healthy and makes him blind. Goes up to some guy who can walk and cripples him. Some guys are having a lovely feast of fish and bread, plenty to share around the thousands that were there. Jesus, being the twat that he's become, replaces it with fuck all. Looking smug with himself, he develops a case of Anageria, which inevitably makes him smaller, and as he was on his death bead in some little manger, 3 guys come along and knick his presents! Moses: Now a man named Moses decides to gather up a load of kind Jews and was planning on taking them on a journey and reaches a deal with a Pharaoh and they become stuck in captivity. Adam and Eve: There was a lovely couple called Adam and Eve, and they were very sad, so God decided to allow them to play in his garden. Adam all of a sudden regurgitates an apple, followed by Eve. Clearly unwell, God got angry and started smashing things. One day, he took away life. The next day, he took away light. Then dark, then after 7 days God destroyed the universe. And that son, is how babies are made. *It was on the old site