Sickipedia

Just heard Katy Perry’s ‘I kissed a girl’. Was really enjoying it until Adam Johnson answered his phone.

Do you think Mr Blobby’s wife is always on?

Remember, it’s only crack cocaine if it’s been smuggled in someone’s arse.

Just got arrested at the Bureau De Change. I wanted to change my Vietnamese currency back into sterling so I asked the lady at the counter if she wanted to Pound my Dong

Research has shown that to make corona victims better you just twist their heads off and shove a slice of lime down their throat.

Boris and bake off are on tv at the same time tonight so no matter which channel you watch you’ll see an Eton Mess

If I had to rate my last bowel movement I’d have to say it was a solid 2

United fans are hoping for working for home to be mandatory from tonight to avoid talking about the game in the office. It won't be a problem for Liverpool fans though...not because they won but because they are all unemployed.

United fans are hoping for working from home to be mandatory from tonight to avoid talking about the game in the office. It won't be a problem for Liverpool fans though...not because they won but because they are all unemployed scum

Tim Westwood is a sexual predator…..in other news hot water’s not cold