Sickipedia

The wife was trying to be sexy for me last night, when I went upstairs she was lying naked sucking a lollypop, then she stuck it up her vagina. I said, "be careful with that love, you will need it for getting the kids across the road tomorrow."

I really hate when you're sending a text, and you're so rudely interrupted by a stupid jogger, bouncing off your windscreen.

my girlfriend said she likes doggie style So after we had sex, I rubbed her nose in the wet patch and shouted "NO!"

Why did the politician cross the road? Dunno, but he claimed £90 expenses for it.

The wife has her sexy underwear on. This can only mean one thing.... The fat lazy bitch hasn't done the laundry all week.

Male, premature ejaculator seeks hot girl for romance. Must dress sexy, with big tits and nice pussy lips and..aw fucks sake, forget it.

Hey girls, don't you hate it when your ex makes you so mad that you want to key his car, but he doesn't drive, so all you can do is bend his bus pass.

Had an appointment with my doctor today, In the waiting room, this bloke, who sitting opposite me asked me why I was there. "I have the worse case of hemorrhoid's ever" I answered. "Oh, he said, "Is that why your sitting on that bean bag"? "Look again" I replied.

I am against protesting , but I don't know how to show it.

Did you know on the Canary Islands, there is not one Canary? And on the Virgin Islands? Yep, Same thing. Not one canary either.