Sickipedia

Sir Clive Sinclair could have been immortal. I wrote this program on the ZX81 back in 1980: 10 Keep on living 20 Goto 10

Just bought some multi-purpose compost for the flower bed. Can someone tell me another purpose for it if I don't use it all

Ever since the Vorderman revelations I've been dreaming about Riley getting jizzed on by five blokes. I suppose Vorderman could make a cameo near the end, but I haven't got that far yet as Whitley always appears and I wake up in cold sweats

If you're looking at tonight's TV listings, please be aware:. Man united with young boys is not porn it's a football match

Good win for City today Sterling is a really good diver, better than Tom Daley. Difference is Sterling likes to dive, what he loves most though is to dive in the the box. You couldn't pay Tom Daley to dive in any box

Why did John Bishop cross the road? To avoid the 'Big Chicken'..............I suppose it's a slight improvement on his usual gags

Just got the sack for having a wank while on a Zoom meeting. Only I wasn't, I was having a shit. Never realised that those two faces are exactly the same.

I hope Sue Barker doesn't get suicidal about leaving A Question of Sport. But in my minds eye I always see her perched on a Cliff

With vaccine wars breaking out. Katie Price is the Uks secret weapon. Boris is going to send her into Europe where she'll be readily available to administer doses

Rollercoaster crash at Legoland. Passengers were bricking it