Sickipedia

Shove your gems up your fucking arsehole

My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved in drugs......an Audi Q7 & his own house by the age of 20.

A young pikey girl was sitting chatting to her mum the night before her wedding. "I'd like to talk to you about your wedding night. Your husband will want to put his prized possession where you pee" said the mum. "I'm confused mum. Why would he want to put his tarmac rake in the sink?"

Marriage....because your shitty day doesn't have to end after work.

What does a Man City fan do, straight after beating Barcelona in the Champions League final? Turns off his Playstation & jumps back into bed with his sister.

What ship has never docked in Liverpool? The Premiership.

I always wanted to be a comedian but my disability held me back. I'm a woman.

A nigger is picking his nose & his mother says " Leroy, stop doing that" " But mama, all the white kids do it" "They do son, but not with a fucking spoon"

Jermain Defoe is in a nightclub when he spots a good looking bird on the dance floor. He goes straight over to her, sticks his hand down her knickers, & asks if she fancies a shag. "Blimey" she says " Your a little forward, aren't you?".

How do you ruin a party? Stick Jeremy Corbyn in charge.