Sickipedia

My plan to only steal low calorie yogurts from the supermarket, is taking shape.

Just had a wardrobe delivered by IKEA, not a single screw, bracket, dowel, nothing, I thought fuck me you couldn't make it up.

I caught covid singing at my local church, but I'm over it now I'm fully hymn-une

I discovered a tiny space in a Scotsmans loft, where he was keeping whisky miniatures, I thought this is a little dram-attic.

There once was a model named Kate, who got fucked by Dwight Yorke on a date It was such an affront that came out of her cunt Giving birth to a fucking primate.

The Dusky maid, she met a Prince, a ginger known as Harry, all was well she towed the line her duties she would carry. Alas the bliss it did not last and the Duchess made her case, the Firm didn't help, questions were asked about the babies race. We want to be alone they said, not answer to the Press then did the interview (not for cash) some issues to address. The Prince was sad, his family lost and no one seemed to care, there's a racist in the Royal family of that were keen to share. But at least our lives are private, we've escaped the public glare just one more Prince been led astray and I couldn't fucking care.

Q..what is the hardest thing on Earth- A..Diamonds B..Tungsten C..Titanium D..A Thalidomide trying to have a wank

Played with myself in a barn, best wank in hay jizz.

Giving a knighthood to a tax dodging exile is surreal, sir real cunt.

A bloke tried to sell me a gadget at the pub tonight, he said it turns on your hi-fi, receiver, lights, even the garage doors. I said I'm not remotely interested.