Sickipedia

A man was found dead after eating a huge bag and a half of licorice over a short period. Just shows there are All Sorts of ways to die.

A bloke tried to sell me a gadget at the pub tonight, he said it turns on your hi-fi, receiver, lights, even the garage doors. I said I'm not remotely interested.

My mate Lee has a massive problem with premature ejaculation, his girlfriend calls him cumquickLee.

Between 1910-1920 Lenin killed up to twenty million people. In 1969 he composes a song (give peace a chance) make your fucking mind up mate.

John Sessions and Tony Slattery performed together many years ago, on the popular channel 4 impro show (who's line it anyway?) both men were openly gay, so the question is did Tony Slattery ever successions?

I've just seen two blokes in a field with devining rods fighting over an old coin, the farmers there but refuses to break them up, I thought so much for devine intervention.

So Marcus Rashford has been recognised by the Queen and is on her honours list, pity he was fucking invisible last week againsed Spurs.

My mate Mark was close to being in the worlds top 100 for playing Fortnite, then some bastard nicked his PlayStation, poor lad is un-consoleable

Flora wanted to change her name by deed poll to an American State, sadly she was missing her ID

Police have busted up a paedophile ring at a violin school, bloody kiddie fiddlers