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div599

Member since one year ago

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div599

3 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 28

Martin Sheen American Barry Sheen British Mr Sheen polish

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div599

2 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 24

Not a lot of people know this. But the singer Bill Withers had a brother called Bear, who wrote telephone hold music.

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div599

5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 23

The bloke who invented the speed boat has died. His funeral is tomorrow followed by a wake.

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div599

3 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 19

14 hours in A&E after getting covered in camouflage paint. And I still haven't been seen.

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div599

5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 19

I finally managed to see my GP on Friday and showed him the rash on my arse. He just ignored me and carried on pushing his trolley round Sainsbury's...

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div599

5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 17

The wife's just thrown 5 cricket balls at me. I said one more and it's over.

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div599

one month ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 16

The wife said she got an ever ready chicken for tea.. I said "don't you mean oven ready" She said" no, it's a battery hen.

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div599

3 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 16

Just opened my fridge and got a strong smell of basil. Think it might be faulty.

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div599

4 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 16

Some bloke came into my shop and said, "why is your exit sign flickering on and off? " I said, "it's on the way out.

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div599

5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 16

I only joined liars anonymous yesterday. And they've already made me president.

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