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The wife said she got an ever ready chicken for tea.. I said "don't you mean oven ready" She said" no, it's a battery hen.
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I spotted a little cake stall with an honesty box outside. So I stopped and ate 4. I left a note saying, 'slightly dry, use more fruit next time"
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I think I managed to fix my friends broken microphone.. Just waiting for some feedback.
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Not a lot of people know this. But the singer Bill Withers had a brother called Bear, who wrote telephone hold music.
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Before we get to Movember if anyone wants To sponsor me to eat triangular Swiss chocolate Next month I'm doing Octoblerone.
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Just read a book called "how to clear leaves from your driveway." By Ray King.
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My mate said he used to be in a band called the Fortunes. I asked him if they called it that because they thought they'd make lots of money? He said no, we only knew four tunes.
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I got shown round an empty perfume factory yesterday. It made no scents whatsoever...
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Fun fact. Did you know that chesney hawkes in Spanish is Juan Anonli.
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14 hours in A&E after getting covered in camouflage paint. And I still haven't been seen.
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