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div599

Member since one year ago

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div599

one month ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 16

The wife said she got an ever ready chicken for tea.. I said "don't you mean oven ready" She said" no, it's a battery hen.

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div599

3 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 28

Martin Sheen American Barry Sheen British Mr Sheen polish

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div599

2 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 24

Not a lot of people know this. But the singer Bill Withers had a brother called Bear, who wrote telephone hold music.

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div599

5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 23

The bloke who invented the speed boat has died. His funeral is tomorrow followed by a wake.

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div599

5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 17

The wife's just thrown 5 cricket balls at me. I said one more and it's over.

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div599

2 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 2

My mate said he used to be in a band called the Fortunes. I asked him if they called it that because they thought they'd make lots of money? He said no, we only knew four tunes.

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div599

3 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 16

Just opened my fridge and got a strong smell of basil. Think it might be faulty.

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div599

5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 11

The dodgems are much better than the helter skelter or the teacups. Is that a fair comment.

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div599

27 days ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : -1

Just found out that cows produce more milk if the farmer talks to them. It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.

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2 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 10

I spotted a little cake stall with an honesty box outside. So I stopped and ate 4. I left a note saying, 'slightly dry, use more fruit next time"

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