Sickipedia

Isn't progress wonderful! I remember back in the day you had to queue up at a fairground and pay to see a fat,bearded tattooed lady.

Went to the Innuendo Appreciation Society's annual dinner last night. After some Pulled Pork and Jerk Sauce we had some nice Juicy Melons.

Just been to a pub called the goalkeepers arms. What a fucking dive.

So i said to the wife. "Why is there music coming from that bag of potatoes" she said don't worry its just the maris pipers.

Diana dors daughter Erin kept her maiden name after marriage.

The inventors of the brochure have sadly died R.I.P Pam Flett and her husband , Lee.

I'm expecting to be inundated this Valentine's Day. By which i mean... ill be IN and UNDATED.

A pen doctor showed up at my flat last night. She had travelled all the way from Madrid to fix my broken Biro. “I didn’t expect you”, I said. “Nobody expects the Spanish ink physician”, she replied..

Arriving back in the UK yesterday customs wanted to check my carry on bag - How surprised we all were when Sid James, and Barbara Windsor where inside .

I felt like michael Caine last month. Then i felt like mickey mouse this week, yesterday i felt like mick jagger,and today i feel like mike tyson. I've been having mick's feelings.